Thursday, February 21, 2008


Siguro napapanahon ng palitan ang mga titulo ng mga katungkulan, trabaho(job title), o "elected positions" nadati nating nakasanayan. Nakalista sa baba ay mga titulo ng mga posisyon sa English at ang bagong nababagay na bansag sa kanila sawikang Pilipino:

President - Pasimuno
Vice President - Kunsintidor
Director - Taga-udyok
Secretary - Palsipikador
Manager sa Stock Market - Taga- silip ng stock
Treasurer - Kubrador Boss - Busabos
Auditor - Kasabwat
Supervisor ng Boss - Taga-salo ng galit
Business Manager - Gastador
Chief Accountant - Punong- Gahaman
Public Relations Officer - Tsismoso
Sales Vendor - Pirata
Sergeant-at-Arms - Pasaway
Collector - Mangingikil
Representative - Pahamak
Custodian - Taga-ligpit
Observer - Usisero
Dispatcher - Taga-dispatsa
Advocate - Taga-batikos
Distributor - Taga-kalat
Spokesman - Bolero
Delivery Man - Taga-iwan ng Gamit
Moderator - Taga-bulabog
Circulation Head - Taga-bilog ng Ulo
Announcer - Manggugulat
Purchaser - Palengkera
Monitor - Taga-silip
Receptionist - Palikera
Inspector - Taga-lapirot
Clerk Typist - Taga-parami ng Papel
Investigator - Mangangalkal
Messenger - Tagatulak ng Papel
Enforcer - Tirador
Janitor - Taga-limas
Jail Warden - Sadista
Plumber - Taga-tagas
Prosecutor - Tagapaglait
Repairman - Mambubutingting
Judge - Pilato o Tigahugas-Kamay
Gardener - Damuho
Aide - Taga-istorbo
Utility Man - Inutil
Assistant - Galamay
Watchman - Istambay
Adviser - Sulsol
Security Guard - Bantay-Salakay
Consultant - Manggagancho
Doorman - Nagpapalusot
Contractor - Estapador
Driver - Kaskasero
Expert - Punong-Yabang
Chance Passenger - Malas na nakikiangkas
Technical Writer - Manlilinlang
Comedian - Alaskador
Spin Doctor - Taga-himas
Entertainer - Kerengkeng
Headhunter - Taga-silat...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Funny Church signs

I tool these pix from other bloggers here... I'm sorry.. i cant resist!

Read This Out Loud

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a
sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out
of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't
mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is
taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can
raed tihs forwrad it

Monday, January 28, 2008

Funny Signs (Pinas lang to!)

magpa Bres na!
Flease Pollow the Roles.. harhar..
Mukang ngang matamis.. =)
hehe... DED SHIT? Dipindi lang yan sa babasa.. =)
Ang Finale...
Pinagisipang mabuti yan haha!!
Thx to Joan! friend ko sa Dubai na nag email sakin ng mga pix na to.. =)

MORE funny McDo Ads

funny McDo ads..harhar...

Obscure Facts About Valentine's Day

Obscure Facts About Valentine's Day

FACT: People have heard about the Valentine’s Day Massacre. It was where Al Capone had men from a rival Alcohol smuggling gang gunned down with machine guns at close range. The part that the history books don’t tell is that the killing was a mercy killing motivated out of love, not greed. You see all these men would have eventually died from liver failure from all the booze. This was a much less painful way for them to go.

FACT:Before carrying out his famous act of cutting off his ear and sending it to a woman as a sign of his affection, Van Gogh considered cutting out and sending her the Valentine's Day symbol of love, his heart. Fortunately Van Gogh knew a guy who was a doctor who talked him out of this, because Van Gogh still owed him a painting for which he had prepaid.

FACT: One condition of Hawaii becoming a state was that it begin to celebrate the Holiday of Valentine’s Day. Valentine's Day, the day celebrating love, was previously not a part of their island culture... of hate!

FACT: St. Valentine, the Saint after whom the Holiday of love is named, spent his life honoring vows of celibacy...

...Or did he?

FACT: The improper celebration of Valentine’s Day has resulted in many unforeseen and irreversible consequences. One example is herpes.

Funny McDonald's Ads

One of my favorites ads!! =)

Cheerleaders vs. Nuns (video)

Watch the Video

Cheerleaders face off against nuns with competing
car washes, but the nuns have a secret weapon.

Facts About 7-Eleven

Facts About 7-Eleven
This is a list of facts about the 7-Eleven company and their brand of convenience stores. This list is facts is for entertainment purposes only. Do not use these facts to inform investment decisions about the 7-Eleven Company.

  1. The name of the store is derived from the hours of operation of the first locations, 7pm to 11pm. Very quickly came the realization that more profits could be had by staying open for more that 4 hours at a time. Now most locations are open 24 hours.

  2. The founder of the chain was 7 feet 11 inches tall.

  3. In the early days the stores were all manned by child laborers, ages 7-11.

  4. In an effort to be convenient and at the same time not come across as "a little too convenient" they pledge to have 7 out of the eleven items you need most at any given moment.

  5. Habitual consumption of taquitos and pizza rolls will reduce your life expectancy by 7-11 years.

  6. The average number of gunshots wounds for night attendants ranges from 7 to eleven depending on the State.

  7. Out of every eleven items sold, seven are a pack of cigarettes.

  8. The cost of the items in the store are higher than normal supermarket prices by 7 to 11 percent.

  9. The formula for a slurpee is 7 parts ice eleven parts flavored syrup.

  10. The name "7-11" translates easily and directly into virtually every known language, including Klingon.

  11. In English speaking countries large groups of people are impressed by the fact that the number 7 rhymes with the number 11. These people are called Hillbillies.

  12. The telephone area code prefix for Slurpeeville, USA is 711.

  13. Happy hour lasts for one minute twice a day, at 7:11 am and 7:11 pm. On military bases there is only one per day occurring at 07:11, a fact that lowers moral in every branch of the Armed Services.

Doctor Advises Wife

tsk tsk tsk... =)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Useful Facts

  • The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
  • The reason why women's dress shirt buttons are on the left and men's on the right is because when buttons were first used during the Victorian period maids used to dress the ladies, and since the maids put on their shirts the buttons were put on the servants right side, hence the women's left.
  • In Thailand, the left hand is considered unclean, so you should not eat with it. Also, pointing with one finger is considered rude and is only done when pointing to objects or animals, never humans.
  • In Pakistan, it is rude to show the soles of your feet or point a foot when you are sitting on the floor.
  • It was once against the law to slam your car door in a city in Switzerland.
  • Malcolm Lowry had pnigophobia—the fear of choking on fish bones.
  • Augustus Caesar had achluophobia—the fear of sitting in the dark.
  • Androphobia is a fear of men.
  • Caligynephobia is a fear of beautiful women.
  • Pentheraphobia is a fear of a mother-in-law.
  • Scopophobia is a fear of being looked at.
  • Phobophobia is a fear of fearing.
  • Mageiricophobia is the intense fear of having to cook.
  • Papaphobia is the fear of Popes.
  • Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive.
  • Clinophobia is the fear of beds.
  • Incredible means not believable. Incredulous means not believing. When someone's story is truly incredible, you ought to be incredulous.
  • The terms "prime minister," "premier" and "chancellor" all refer to the leading minister of a government, and any differences from nation to nation stem from different systems of government, not from title definitions.
  • Tennis pro Evonne Goolagong's last name means "kangaroo's nose" in Australia's aboriginal language.
  • A "sysygy" occurs when all the planets of the our Solar System line up.
  • The most common letters in the English language are R S T L N E. Sound familiar? Watch an episode of "Wheel of Fortune"...
  • A "necropsy" is an autopsy on animals.
  • EEG stands for Electroencephalogram.
  • The English word pajamas has it's origin in Persian. It is a combination of the Persian words pa (leg) and jamah (garment).
  • The ZIP in zip code stands for "Zone Improvement Plan."
  • Yucatan, as in the peninsula, is from Maya "u" + "u" + "uthaan" meaning "listen how they speak," and is what the Maya said when they first heard the Spaniards.
  • Punctuation was not invented until the 1500's.
  • Women were banned by royal decree from using hotel swimming pools in Jidda, Saudi Arabia, in 1979.
  • In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both people wipe their lips with rose water.
  • In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
  • In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become a year older on New Year's Day.
  • On average, there are 333 squares of toilet paper on a roll.
  • Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.
  • You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.
  • In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.
  • Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term.
  • Lawn darts are illegal in Canada.
  • In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
  • Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.
  • No one seems to know why people blush.

Useless Facts -Animals

Ostriches are often not taken seriously. They can run faster than horses, and the males can roar like lions.

Seals used for their fur get extremely sick when taken aboard ships.

Sloths take two weeks to digest their food.

Guinea pigs and rabbits can't sweat.

The pet food company Ralston Purina recently introduced, from its subsidiary Purina Philippines, power chicken feed designed to help roosters build muscles for cockfighting, which is popular in many areas of the world.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the cockfighting market is huge: The Philippines has five million roosters used for exactly that.

Sharks and rays are the only animals known to man that don't get cancer. Scientists believe this has something to do with the fact that they don't have bones, but cartilage.

The porpoise is second to man as the most intelligent animal on the planet.

Young beavers stay with their parents for the first two years of their lives before going out on their own.

Skunks can accurately spray their smelly fluid as far as ten feet.

Deer can't eat hay.

Gopher snakes in Arizona are not poisonous, but when frightened they may hiss and shake their tails like rattlesnakes.

On average, dogs have better eyesight than humans, although not as colorful.

The duckbill platypus can store as many as six hundred worms in the pouches of its cheeks.

The lifespan of a squirrel is about nine years.

North American oysters do not make pearls of any value.

Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

Many sharks lay eggs, but hammerheads give birth to live babies that look like very small duplicates of their parents. Young hammerheads are usually born headfirst, with the tip of their hammer-shaped head folded backward to make them more streamlined for birth.

Gorillas sleep as much as fourteen hours per day.

A biological reserve has been made for golden toads because they are so rare.

There are more than fifty different kinds of kangaroos.

Jellyfish like salt water. A rainy season often reduces the jellyfish population by putting more fresh water into normally salty waters where they live.

The female lion does ninety percent of the hunting.

The odds of seeing three albino deer at once are one in seventy-nine billion, yet one man in Boulder Junction, Wisconsin, took a picture of three albino deer in the woods.

A group of twelve or more cows is called a flink.

Cats often rub up against people and furniture to lay their scent and mark their territory. They do it this way, as opposed to the way dogs do it, because they have scent glands in their faces.

Cats sleep up to eighteen hours a day, but never quite as deep as humans. Instead, they fall asleep quickly and wake up intermittently to check to see if their environment is still safe.

Catnip, or Nepeta cataria, is an herb with nepetalactone in it. Many think that when cats inhale nepetalactone, it affects hormones that arouse sexual feelings, or at least alter their brain functioning to make them feel "high." Catnip was originally made, using nepetalactone as a natural bug repellant, but roaming cats would rip up the plants before they could be put to their intended task.

The nematode Caenorhabditis elegans ages the equivalent of five human years for every day they live, so they usually die after about fourteen days. When stressed, though, the worm goes into a comatose state that can last for two or more months. The human equivalent would be to sleep for about two hundred years.

You can tell the sex of a horse by its teeth. Most males have 40, females have 36.

Famous All time Hoaxes

Microsoft Buys the Catholic Church

In 1994 a press release began circulating around the internet claiming that Microsoft had bought the Catholic church. The press release, which bore a Vatican City dateline, noted that this was "the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion." The release then quoted Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates as saying that he considered religion to be a growth market and that, "The combined resources of Microsoft and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people." Under the terms of the deal, Microsoft would acquire exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and would make the sacraments available online.

Most of the release was clearly parody. For instance, it compared the business practices of Microsoft to the Catholic Church's historical conversion efforts, claiming that throughout history the Church, like Microsoft, had been "an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it." Despite the parody, a number of readers were apparently confused and telephoned Microsoft's public relations agency to inquire if the news was true. This prompted Microsoft to issue a formal denial of the release on December 16, 1994.

This was the first internet hoax to reach a mass audience. Its success signalled the enormous power of the new online technology to disseminate information, or misinformation, in ways that sidestepped the traditional gatekeepers of the media. A follow-up release announced that in response to Microsoft's acquisition of the Catholic Church, IBM had bought the Episcopal Church. The authors of these hoaxes remain unknown.


By Hank Vorjes

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of MICROSOFT common stock. If the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company has acquired a major world religion.

With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior vice-president of the combined company's new Religious Software Division, while MICROSOFT senior vice-presidents Michael Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said MICROSOFT Chairman Bill Gates.

"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten years," said Gates. "The combined resources of MICROSOFT and the Catholic Church will allow us to make religion easier and more fun for a broader range of people."

Through the MICROSOFT Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make the sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular pre-Counter-Reformation practice of selling indulgences, said Gates.

"You can get Communion, confess your sins, receive absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your home." A new software application, MICROSOFT Church, will include a macro language which you can program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your computer.

An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's Square, watching on a 60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci -- hosted the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided Gates, "Now I guess you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's smile seemed strained. The deal grants MICROSOFT exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the Vatican's prized art collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci. But critics say MICROSOFT will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors' access to these key intellectual properties.

"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said Rabbi David Gottschalk of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea-- we had that thousands of years before the Catholics came on the scene."

But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common Abrahamic heritage. "The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger audience," notes Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the Catholic Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the first to offer many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind. Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading crusades to pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive licensing arrangements in various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether or not they planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations, but the Catholic version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the four corners of the earth," echoing MICROSOFT's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every home".

Gates described MICROSOFT's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious architecture that will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be offered with a choice of interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of different implementations," said Gates.

The MICROSOFT move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to Herb Peters, a spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble to strengthen their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.


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Friday, January 25, 2008

Famous Last Words

Published on 9/28/2006

  • Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
    Francisco ("Pancho") Villa

  • I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast!
    "Black Jack" Ketchum, notorious train robber

  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
    Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

  • Get these fucking nuns away from me.
    Norman Douglas

  • Don't's not loaded...
    Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger.

  • Is someone hurt?
    Robert F. Kennedy, to his wife directly after he was shot and seconds before he fell into a coma.
  • When Opposite Meets

    World’s Tallest Horse meets World’s Smallest

    The "Paraisópolis" favela (poor neighborhood) meets a rich neighborhood in Sao Paulo

    World's Tallest Man meets World's Smallest

    69. [credit: snowdog101]

    Men Are All The Same (pix)

    Creepiest Old Ads

    1979 Pakistan Airlines ad

    Dumbest Celebrity Quotes

  • «If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them.»

    - Ted Turner, media mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

  • «They misunderestimated me.»

    - George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., (Nov. 6, 2000)

  • «I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to.»

    - Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

  • «I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman»

    - Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • «Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.»

    - Mariah Carey, pop singer

  • «Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future.»

    - Yogi Berra, Baseball player

  • «Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.»

    - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

  • «If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.»

    - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

  • «So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?»

    Christina Aguilera